One of the lowest-budgeted, super-cheesy classic horror films ever filmed in what looks like a large outhouse, this film may or may not be familiar to you. The director's newest effort, Oz: The Great and Powerful, jumps onto the big screen in March 2013.
That's right, folks, I'm talking about Sam Raimi. The movie:
Emo Spider-Man.
HA JUST KIDDING. (Even though he did direct the Tobey McGuire Spider-Man trilogy.)
The movie I'm talking about is The Evil Dead.
The girl represents audiences in 2007, and the demon hand is Spider-Man 3.
Sorry, Raimi... Not sorry.
The Evil Dead is about a group of 5 ridiculously ignorant teenagers going to stay at the main character's family member's cabin in the woods in the middle of absolute nowhere.
Seriously- it's to the point where the woods literally attacks them because it's so bored.
This was the only picture I could find that didn't include the oh-so-subtle tree-rape scene.
The movie proceeds with the woods possessing one of the girls with an allegedly smelly-ass demon, who torments the group and later possesses more of them.
No, but as awful as this movie was, it was excellent. This is the perfect example of "it's so bad it's good." The filmmakers had to use creamed corn dyed green for demon guts, and it's disgusting...
Lindsay Lohan?
I kid, I kid....
For what Sam Raimi had at the time, with a limited budget and unfortunate weather conditions, he still made a pretty damn entertaining movie. Those demons are hideously perfect, and the concept was pretty original for the time.
TIME TO PICK APART THE MOVIE <3333
Not like I haven't already started, but now that I've established you should go watch it, I'll proceed to rip this movie apart limb from limb.
Or lock it in the basement because a wooden door will keep Satan's minions at bay, for sure.
OKAY FIRST OFF. They're traveling to this cabin when Bruce Campbell, the actor playing the main character, announces that no one's ever been to this damned place. At least, no one in the car has ever been there before...
This must be it! I know it!
Yep, leave it up to a bunch of stereotypical teenagers to go on a vacation and get brutally raped, murdered, dismembered, etc. Also, if you're given a keychain for the cabin that consists of ten keys from Hogwarts that ALL look the same, it's time to re-think your vacation plans. If I can't enter the house in a timely manner, I've already lost interest and want to go home.
Especially when you can just push your hands through the door.
And Bruce, this is an older movie, but it's not the OLDEST scary movie ever filmed. Hiding in front of doors or windows is a big no-no, especially after all your friends have either been killed or possessed by trash-talking, bath-skipping, song-singing demons.
Also, leave it up to a bunch of teenagers to be dumb enough to be outsmarted by some trees.
What I'D like to know is: what do these demons plan on doing after they kill/possess every open vessel?
Yeah, didn't think THAT far ahead, did you?
"Erm..."
Mmm... Didn't think so.
In short, go find this movie and watch it. It's terrifically awful, and awfully entertaining. I've never seen the sequels, but I do plan on seeing the remake in the spring. It looks even MORE gory and it looks like they're making this one a lot grittier, less campy.
P.S.: If you're on vacation with your friends and you cross a bridge whose plans break off upon driving over it, it's best to back up and dive home before you get stuck on the other side before A. you end up with one pretty badass survivor, or B. you end up with this image before everyone's imminent death:
Ew.
(If you get the movie reference, I both love you and feel sorry for you for also having to endure it.)
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