J.R.R. Tolkien's (earlier) classic tale of heroism, comedy, and bravery has finally hit the big screen, and it's better than ever.
"What is a Bagginses?"
Well, Bilbo Baggins is a Hobbit. An uptight, overly conscious Hobbit changed into one who finds more in himself than he would have ever thought. Peter Jackson's visionary talent returns with the first installment in a trilogy spanning Bilbo's journey to the Lonely Mountain. The Hobbit scores as a successful book-to-movie adaptation.
Martin Freeman stars as Bilbo Baggins, the uncle of Frodo Baggins, portrayed by Elijah Wood in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
As far as the acting goes, everyone gives this movie their all. Ian McKellen IS Gandalf. Martin Freeman IS Bilbo Baggins. Richard Armitage IS Thorin Oakenshield. Andy Serkis IS Gollum... and Smeagol. Elijah Wood IS Frodo Baggins... Wait- what?
GET YOUR OWN MOVIE ELIJAH WOOD WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
Anyway.
The Hobbit tells the tale of Bilbo joining a group of dwarves (who all have ridiculous names which I will not recall for you) and the well-known Gandalf the Grey on a fantastical (yet dangerous) journey to the Lonely Mountain to reclaim gold and other riches. The catch?
These riches are in a room claimed as a bedroom by Smaug.
Who's Smaug, you ask?
A big-ass dragon.
I'm not sure if this is what he'll look like in the upcoming movies, but this is a dragon, that's a little person possibly perceived as a Hobbit, and that dragon looks mighty pissed.
For all you know, it's Smaug. Shut your face.
Of course, this movie is graced with the artistic vision of the mighty Peter Jackson. Sweeping the floor with the Lord of the Rings trilogy, most people will be comparing this to those record-setting films. I mean, the last movie was nominated for, like, 13 academy awards and won 11 of them.
The Hobbit was more of a children's book, so of course the movie will make an attempt to appeal to all ages. It sure does fulfill that wish, with comedy, action, adventure, and amazing special effects thrown into the mix.
Many amazing scenes include:
A meeting with some lovely (and hungry) trolls,
The battle of the stone giants...
And last but not least:
Riddles in the dark. Probably the best, most intense scene in the entire movie. No character is funnier, creepier, or skinnier than Gollum.
But let's not spoil too much for y'all.
LOLJK TIME FOR SOME SPOILERS. WE'RE GOING HARDCORE IN THIS REVIEW.
I have some arguments about this movie.
1. Yes, I know the Return of the King had the appendixes at the end... But was it REALLY necessary to include those parts in this movie? Considering this story came out waay beforehand? The scene with the White Council nearly had me asleep both times I went to see the movie.
"But Ryan this has so much reference and foreshadowing to the next movies!"
COOL CAN WE HAVE SOME DRAGONS NOW
First you have to read through the contract.
2. Next, what's up with the Orc following them throughout the story? This totally changes their original motives for getting to the Lonely Mountain.
Now it's: "The dwarves are trying to reclaim their home that was destroyed by the evil Smaug. Also, these Orcs were "defeated" in battle and now are magically STILL ALIVE and on the hunt for the dwarves." Okay, it's just the "pale Orc," but the rest are pretty ugly as well.
In the book it was simply: "HEY LET'S GET OUR GOLD BACK BY FINDING A TOTALLY UNPREPARED HOBBIT AND SENDING HIM INTO THE LAIR OF A FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON HAHAA WE'RE SO BRAVE"
Ah, the times were so simple.
Ew wtf. You know it's sad when your wolf's teeth are in better condition than yours.
3. The Necromancer. ALRIGHT BITCHES why are we tossing in so many story arcs into such a simple story? They leave after taking hours to convince this Hobbit to join them, run into craploads of dangers, overcome them, then encounter the dragon. SIMPLE. (I guess spoiler alert to those who haven't read the book yet, even though Bilbo obviously survives since he's in the Lord of the Rings movies...)
But the Necromancer is supposed to be Sauron in his spirit form or whatever the fuck. Excuse my language, but this wasn't even mentioned SUBTLY in the book, and it leaves those like me who thought they knew something about The Hobbit feeling totally shat on.
Damn you, Peter Jackson, and your breathtaking landscapes and special effects. You're lucky we love you.
No, but in all seriousness, this movie really was entertaining and totally kickass. No need to really pick it apart and just watch it for the movie it is. We're left satisfied, yet still craving the next two installments...
SORRY I'M JUST SAYING.
All-in-all, go see the Hobbit. Tolkien fan or not, this ridiculously long movie is worth the money.
I'm going to leave you with this:
