Movies: Underworld: Awakening

It's been twelve years since Selene has kicked the hairy ass of a lycan, and she'd due for some more badassery. Time to slip into that leather suit and shrug into that trench coat, because another mediocre sequel is here.

No matter how closely that "Lycan" resembles King Kong and the Yeti's lovechild, Kate Beckinsale will never stop being hot. Ever.

"But Ryan this movie was crap and came out like ten thousand years ago"

"But viewer I never said I'd be reviewing movies the moment they come out and who cares, they're always fun to watch, you silly goose."

Except for this one. Why make a prequel about the original war when Selene describes it at the beginning of every other Underworld movie... 

And why do the shadows behind him on the wall look like Pikachu? 

Important questions.

2012's Underworld: Awakening throws you into the thick of the three-way war between the vampires, the lycans, and the humans. Selene is planning to flee the fighting with her lover, Michael, when he decides that getting shot and falling into the ocean will help them at all.

Selene: "Oh, they're still shooting at us! Let me jump in as well instead of kicking the bad guys' asses!"

So they get blown up, and she wakes up a dozen years later.

Apparently, you can give birth while cryogenically frozen and have no idea that you just pushed a baby out of your body. Selene soon finds out that "suspect 1" is not Michael, but HER DAUGHTER.

dun dun duuuun...

Her daughter (whose name escapes me but I'm too lazy to go look it up) is also a hybrid, and is basically more badass than everyone else. 

She's a hybrid, yet she never changes into an actual vampire/lycan like Michael does in every other movie.

She is jut a young girl with anger issues. And fangs and claws and blue skin.

Female preteen Nightcrawler?

No, she's still more badass than he is.

OK, I'm not here to summarize the movie for you. I just get carried away with this stuff.

Altogether, this movie isn't a complete waste of time. It's a fun movie to watch, nothing to be taken too seriously, nothing to win awards for. This series is much more tolerable than the Resident Evil movies, I can say that for sure... 

None of these pictures came out clear. The quality of these photographs are just as crappy as these movies are becoming. Seriously, what is this- the sixth movie? I stopped watching after the one with her clones.

This is how I felt.

Conclusion: Underworld 4 isn't a great movie. It's fun to watch, but that's pretty much it. So watch it, but don't expect too much from it. Like with basically any other series, the first one is the best.

Well, there's Kate Beckinsale, too. You can't go wrong with Kate Beckinsale.